How to talk to your child about mistakes
What you say in the ten seconds after a mistake shapes how your child handles the next one. A small script that changes a lot.
January 24, 2026 · 6 min read
A child gets a maths question wrong, spells a word wrong, drops the milk. Your face and your first sentence land before anything else. Over months and years, those small moments build their inner critic, or their inner coach.
The three part script
- Name it neutrally. "That one was wrong" or "the milk spilled". No sigh.
- Ask, do not tell. "What do you think went wrong?" Give them a few seconds.
- Plan the next try. "Right, what will you do differently?"
The whole thing takes thirty seconds. It treats the mistake as information rather than a verdict on the child.
Avoid the rescue
When you jump in immediately with the answer, you teach them that struggle equals rescue. They will wait for it next time instead of thinking. Sit in the silence for longer than feels comfortable.
Model it yourself
When you make a mistake in front of them, narrate the same three steps out loud. "I forgot the appointment. I think I did not put it in the calendar. Next time I will add it the moment we book it." This is the deepest growth mindset work you can do, see our growth mindset piece for the longer version.